THE CANK

this makes me feeeeeeeel betta HOMEBOYZZZZZZZ and girlz.

We're all going to hell.

At some point some wise guy thought it'd be a good idea create a sitcom. A sitcom in which Adolf Hitler is referred to as "mister sausage" and Eva Braun is his "hoochie coochie girl". And then they sing about it. A sitcom in which THEY HAVE JEWISH NEIGHBOURS CALLED THE GOLDSTEINS. IT'S HITLER. HE HAS JEWISH NEIGHBOURS. FUCKING HITLER WITH JEWISH NEIGHBOURS.

...anyway, the pilot is here for your viewing pleasure.


(Part one)


(Part two)

Those quirky nazi's.

(vomit)

stop the planet, i want to get off

and you thought gumball machines were simple bastions of childhood delight? well you'd be WRONG

Three Dover officials say they've found a serious homeland security threat to chew on: gumballs.

They worry the colorful round treats could be poisoned by an enterprising terrorist who sees them as bait for unsuspecting targets -- young kids.

always good when politics dips into the heady waters of self-parody

[courtesy of we make money not art]

top gun is gay

i mean, hell, we've all thought it, but it's that much cooler and convincing when it's being explained by quentin tarantino

double dutch

alright, now i'm willing to admit that in the heat of the moment i may have rather brutally have written off the dutch. however, i'd like to perform one of my trademark backflips and declare that they are in fact ok. just ok. they're going to have to work for love from me.

Physics can be fun!

A while ago we used to play a game called Porrasturvat (literally "Stair Dismount"), where the aim was to throw a man off a flight of stairs whilst inflicting the maximum amount of pain possible. You would pick the appendage to aim for, the force you would apply to this appendage and the angle to which you would apply this force. Then, the fun would begin, as the points began to roll in depending on how much damage you inflicted on this lifeless body. Back and neck breaks always scored well.

Then the sequel to this game, Rekkaturvat ("Truck Dismount"), involved a similar premise except you could now decide where the gentleman would sit on a truck as you drove it into a wall.

Now to the point of the post, EA Sports has created a new game called "Skate" which utilises these very same "crash physics".



Now, this, would have to be the funniest crash I have ever seen.

"Yeah, I meant to do that"

how in fuck's name did she do that?

via videosift.com

...whoa. the best bit about this video is the bit where you realise you know how it's going to end...

(and yes, fairly NSFW)

[courtesy of within the cranium]